I Survived The Dystopian Apocalypse — Then I Survived The Utopian Delusion
This is what I found after...
The utopian dream is the trickiest hell loop to break out of.
At least a dystopian apocalypse is recognizably bad —
the utopian delusion is a spiritual and material carrot —
one we have been chasing for millennia —
without realizing the evil behind it.
What’s so sinister about it?
Both the apocalypse and the utopia of perfection are rooted in survival.
They are both a fear-based survival response.
One is rooted in the fear of bad happening.
The other is rooted in control — to prevent the bad thing happening.
Because that’s the only real purpose of a perfect world —
zero conflict and perfect harmony —
where everyone just gets along in love and light.
Your mind will immediately reject this —
“It’s ridiculous! Even without trying to prevent the apocalypse —
Why wouldn’t we want zero conflict and perfect harmony?!
Why wouldn’t we want everyone to get along in love and light?!”
You see laddie, until you truly break out of survival mode —
until you truly come into real power, the divine kind —
you won’t understand why our world is already a perfect utopia —
why this is god’s heaven, rather than the picture painted by saints and prophets.
They come not to create utopia or get us into the perfect heaven —
they just need to sell us that to keep the perfect balance.
You see, the perfect utopia, the perfect harmony —
it isn’t when people get along with each other —
it isn’t when there’s zero conflict.
The perfect world is the harmony of duality —
when light and dark, good and evil are in perfect harmony and balance.
That’s god’s idea of heaven.
That’s a divine utopia.
And we are living in it.
This is it.
This is the ultimate manifestation of divine will and desire.
We keep thinking we can’t understand “god’s mind”.
That we can’t understand the “mysterious ways”.
The truth is, we don’t want to.
And that too is by design.
Because when you do, you realize —
that the veil between conscious and unconscious — it disappears.
You realize that the unconscious and dark desires —
are now to be performed consciously and intentionally.
It’s just easier on our hearts and minds to “not understand”.
To be frustrated, angry, ashamed, and guilty is so much easier.
To blame god and pretend not to understand it is so much easier.
Than to realize we are god playing games with itself.
Then you realize the whole thing is about playing.
And instead of the darker, sicker games —
you can actually choose other games to play.
When I say darker and sicker —
I’m actually talking about utopia and saving the world.
These are the darkest and dumbest games we have ever played.
And the reality is that —
the smartest people in the world —
are playing the dumbest games ever invented.
So yes, I started with the title:
I Survived The Dystopian Apocalypse,
Then I Survived The Utopian Delusion —
This is what I found after...
What I’ve been describing is what I found after — the perfect harmony of duality.
I’ve also been describing “surviving” and escaping the utopian delusion.
But I also wrote that I survived the apocalypse.
And you must be wondering, “Did I miss the news?”
“Did the apocalypse happen without me realizing??”
“Did I miss the actual apocalypse?!”
No my dear, you’re very likely living in it.
I survived it — you’re still living in the hell of surviving it.
Because the apocalypse never really happens.
It’s a story.
Just like the utopian carrot we chase endlessly and with ultimate futility —
The dystopian nightmare is something we keep running from —
endlessly and with ultimate futility.
It’s a nightmare from which you can wake up at any time.
Literally, that’s all it is — a living nightmare.
I’ve actually lived through it several times.
I fully believed it was about to happen or already happening.
I’ve imagined and had waking nightmares about:
worldwide internet blackouts, climate crisis, AI and Alien overlords, thermonuclear world wars, biowarfares and pandemics, nature wiping us out through cataclysmic events, collapse of the global financial system.
These are all nightmares most of the world is living through —
believing they are real.
That’s the sad beauty of it.
It’s so damn real when you believe it’s happening.
That you don’t realize the simplest truth —
there are countless other realities happening simultaneously.
You experience the station you are tuned into —
like live TV or radio —
you can only be on one station or channel at a time.
Even though they are all happening together.
You cannot be fully present and consciously experience them all at once.
And this is where we get lost in the nightmares —
we get fully sold and consumed by a single channel —
for extended periods.
That is just one endless movie playing out.
It will never end — even when “the end of the world” movie is playing —
It just keeps rolling from one scenario into another — endlessly.
That’s the game.
And if one channel were to end —
you would just switch to the next —
and for most people —
that would happen without you even realizing it.
Because there are endless dystopian nightmare channels —
all running live at the same time.
It’s an endless buffet.
And in each of them — you get to either play the angel or the demon.
Except you will most likely always believe you are the angel.
You are doing what you believe is the right thing to save the world.
And at least half of that world will believe you are the devil destroying it.
And none of it will matter —
because they are all storylines within one movie on one channel.
And on that channel you will experience the consequences.
You will believe in whatever “afterlife” story you choose.
And you will just continue “living” it out.
Because there is no such thing as “after” life.
It’s all life. Within this channel, this mind, this body.
And then in the next.
You ask what happens “after” this body?
You just get another!
By choosing another channel.
Either consciously or unconsciously.
It’s really as simple as that.
The only difference is whether you tap into real power —
or just keep playing video-games.
This is what I meant by “I survived the dystopian apocalypse.”
I unsubscribed from all the channels of dystopia AND utopia.
Because all utopian channels are by default dystopian channels.
Only a dystopia needs a utopia to exist.
What I “survived” was the idea of “surviv-ing”.
I found infinity, eternity, immortality — in the soul.
I found that which can never end — life.
That which flows in all stories — spirit.
I stopped identifying with that which begins and ends.
I became that which experiences all of it — endlessly.
That which cannot end has no need to survive.
This doesn’t mean I dishonor that which does begin and end.
I love my body. I also know it has a definite beginning and end.
Which too is quite an illusion —
because all matter is energy shifting forms.
The body is formed from seeds, soil, water, food, and air —
and it turns back into seeds, soil, water, food, and air.
It only has a beginning and end in form and appearance.
Beyond that, it’s just different forms of energy morphing.
The confusion happens because we don’t realize —
we are the soul inhabiting the body.
It’s a vehicle —
quite a spectacular vehicle —
divinely designed to perfection in it’s engineering —
each beautiful in it’s own unique way —
and ours until it dies.
We think it’s such a great achievement to keep bodies alive longer.
Why are we so attached to “our” body —
when there’s a literal infinite supply of them —
on this planet and the countless others in existence.
The whole thing is based in scarcity and fear.
And that’s fine. It causes us to do crazy and marvelous things.
Sure, it’s great that we get to experience a longer storyline.
I think that’s the only real purpose of it.
It’s fun to “remember” a longer movie.
But really, when you zoom out —
it’s an infinite series of movies —
all played by one actor —
and when you remember that actor —
when you realize you are that actor —
all of a sudden you realize —
how little this one short story matters.
Because in the grand scheme of infinity —
everything is a short story.
We want to live for 120, 150, 300, 600, 900 —
even 1000+ years!
Wow, how cool, what an achievement!
Then come the “delusional ones” —
those who want to be immortal and live forever.
We already freaking do!
We have been living forever, and will continue living forever.
When you do realize that —
that’s when you appreciate “forgetfulness” and “death”.
That’s when the end of the story actually makes so much sense.
Because it’s great to have these chapters.
And then move on from them.
Into another story.
That’s when you realize —
this is the ultimate utopian heaven —
where light and dark are in perfect harmony —
where bad and evil actually helps create fulfilling stories —
and puts an end to the story when it’s been long enough.
Bad and evil, death and forgetting aren’t something to extinguish —
we created it and wish it upon ourselves!
These aren’t forces and experiences we want to escape —
These are some of the core driving forces of life!
The ultimate core divine force expressed in different ways.
It’s all a game —
the only question is —
are you playing the one you actually want to play?
That’s all I teach you how to do.
To start playing the game you, your soul, came to play in this body, at this time.
Because it’s not just one game per body.
There’s numerous games, numerous lives you get to live in this one longer story.
That’s the only reason the idea of utopia is “evil”.
You get bought into one game “forever”.
Chasing perfection. Until you wake up.
You come to realize —
your story, is the story you came to live —
perfectly imperfect.
Even where you are now.
Whatever is the story you are experiencing —
is the becoming of the next phase —
which is the becoming of the next phase —
and the next.
The difference is how much you enjoy the phases —
no matter what is happening —
because you realize —
it’s all part of the game you came to play.